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Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Light at the end of the tunnel

We are finally nearing the end of this deployment. You can tell from the lack of blogging that I've been busy. Working full time and being a single parent of two young girls keeps me busy and tired.

We made it though the holidays with not too much trouble. It wasn't easy but we survived.

R&R was in February and although the 2 weeks went by WAY too quick we cherished every single minute. The girls did much better then I expected when he had to go back.

The second 1/2 of this deployment has been much more difficult on all of us then the 1st half. It's been much more emotional and tiring. Again, we are nearing the end and we are so ready for him to be home and for our family to be complete again.

This deployment has taught me a LOT about "friends." I've lost several, been disappointed by even more. But the ones that walked out made room for Holly. Which makes all those lost forgettable. Holly, fellow Army Wife of a deployed soldier, has been my rock. Along with Jessica, fellow Army Wife of deployed soldier (3 times over, now home), they truly know EXACTLY how I feel and what I am going through. Those friends who have stuck by me and put up with my emotional roller coaster, I thank you!

This sums it up:

"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.”
― Marilyn Monroe

There are many who don't deserve me.

Some "good news" from deployment.......PROMOTION! VERY proud of now SFC!

God Bless!

Friday, October 21, 2011

Day By Day

I knew it had been a while since I blogged, but I didn't realize it had been almost 5 months. We still weren't in to deployment full swing last time I blogged.

However, that has all changed and life has gotten a little bit crazy! I find now I have even less time to get all the things done that need to be done. And just when you think life is about to slow down and you might get even the slightest hint of a break it all comes full speed again. It does make the time go by fast which is always a plus when you are waiting for "your other 1/2" to come back.

Piper started Kindergarten in August. She LOVES it! She has the sweetest teacher and is doing very well. She got all G's on her report card which is good....well to me it's GREAT! We've had a Fall Festival, a field trip to Bennett Farm's Pumpkin Patch, Open House and don't forget her favorite Friday morning event....The Spirit Store! Piper is also wrapping up this season of Upward Soccer. She had an AWESOME season! She scored the her first goal ever which was the first goal, at the first game of the season. Of course I didn't have the camera ready and her daddy was a bit disappointed. We are so proud of her. She is a totally different player then last year. She is also getting ready for her first gymnastics competition in January. She has progressed so well since she first started in gymnastics.

Payton.......where oh where do I begin. She is such a sassy little girl. She has an attitude and a mind of her own. She makes us laugh for sure though. She is a little busy body that doesn't slow down. She recently had a checkup with her cardiologist in B'ham and everything went GREAT! She is growing well and her heart looked GREAT! Praising God for all the work he had done on her precious little heart. She isn't quite ready for activities but she enjoys watching Piper and getting in to trouble wherever we go.

We all miss Superman so much! The girls have had a few rough nights of crying and telling me how much they miss Daddy. It's no secret I have plenty of my own. But we are doing well. And in honor of him we are dressing up for Halloween as Superheros! I will be Wonderwoman, Piper will be Catwoman, and Payton will be Supergirl. I'm so excited to do this.

It is my hope to keep up better with this blog.....we shall see how that goes.

God Bless!

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Never Enough Time

WOW! It's been quite some time since I last updated my blog. Actually it's been way too long. It seems like every time I would sit down to write something it would all come out negative so I would stop. But after quite some time I realized it's okay.
I don't have to pretend that Gary's impending deployment is a happy time, because it's not. However, that being said, we are definitely making the most of the time we do have left.

Gary and I went on a wonderful weekend getaway as a couple. We missed the girls dearly but it was great to be able to get a way as a couple. Thank you SO much to my dear friend Jessica for encouraging me to do that. And thank you to my wonderful parents for keeping the girls for the weekend.

Father's Day was wonderful also. Gary's AWESOME surprise the girls got him will be here on Tuesday. He's hoping for a Camaro so he may be a weee bit disappointed but I know he'll like what they got anyway.

I am busy working on Gary's send off party. It will definitely be one to remember. I've always loved planning parties....not so much this one but again trying to make the best of it all.

I know I need to be strong for the girls. It's hard but God has given me so much amazing strength and I hope it continues. Piper tells me on a weekly basis that she doesn't her Daddy to go be a soldier. I do know she is very worried about him getting hurt. I told her all she needed to do was pray and that God would keep him safe and this was her prayer "Dear God, please send ALL your angels with Daddy and keep him safe, Amen." I just love her sweet spirit and caring heart. Our girls are our everything.

So again, in closing, we make the most of each and everyday until deployment. We've actually always done that after almost losing Payton. We are never guaranteed tomorrow and we should live life each day to the fullest and with no regrets!

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Reality and Faith

I never thought my life would be on the journey we started over 19 months ago.

On August 19, 2009 we began a new chapter in our lives by adding a new addition to our family.
We welcome Payton Lorelai, our second baby girl. The next day we almost lost her to a very serious heart condition called aortic atresia w/ VSD. At just two weeks old she endured a 10 hour open heart surgery. Although there were some complications Dr. Dabel was able to accomplish the first part of her aortic repair.

Our faith in God was so strong that I never once asked, "God why are you doing this to me? Why did you let this happen to our baby?" I knew he had a plan and that she was in his care from day one. And he had proven to us over and over his healing power and his greatness.

Again in September 2010 he remained faithful and saw her little body through a second open heart surgery. She is a spunky little toddler and very smart. Nothing slows her down. God if faithful and God is good. If you doubt that just read her story at

The reality of deployment in just a short time is setting in more and more. I find myself thinking about it more often then I should. Feelings I fought before and even denied are slowing creeping in. We also just completed a three week training and this has confirmed my weaknesses I've been trying to hide. I find myself questioning the strength I once thought I had.

When we first found out about Gary's deployment I was "okay" with it. I mean not being okay wasn't an option because it wouldn't change anything. And I thought to myself, if I can watch my child one breath away from death and her journey to recovery and remain strong I can make it through deployment. But after ONLY 3 weeks of separation I question it all. I mean Gary was the first person there when we almost lost Payton, and he held me for 10 hours during her first surgery, he physically helped me in and out of bed each night because I was recovering from a c-section. That time strengthened our marriage, us as a couple and we remained focused on God and our faith.
One Team One Fight that's the motto right?

But now is my time to regain my focus back on God. While yes my husband was there so was God. He held us both, brought us comfort and brought Payton healing. I need to stay focused on him in order to make it through this journey (which I might add hasn't begun yet).

I pray each day for his strength for myself, Gary, and our two beautiful children. That is the only way we will make it through what is being laid out before us.

God Bless!

Tuesday, March 1, 2011


For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11)

Our family will soon begin a new chapter and a new journey in life. I thought this would be a good way for our family and friends to keep up with all that is going on. This journey will not be easy but we find comfort in God and we will allow him to carry us through.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your way acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths. (Proverbs 3:5-6)