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Sunday, March 27, 2011

Reality and Faith

I never thought my life would be on the journey we started over 19 months ago.

On August 19, 2009 we began a new chapter in our lives by adding a new addition to our family.
We welcome Payton Lorelai, our second baby girl. The next day we almost lost her to a very serious heart condition called aortic atresia w/ VSD. At just two weeks old she endured a 10 hour open heart surgery. Although there were some complications Dr. Dabel was able to accomplish the first part of her aortic repair.

Our faith in God was so strong that I never once asked, "God why are you doing this to me? Why did you let this happen to our baby?" I knew he had a plan and that she was in his care from day one. And he had proven to us over and over his healing power and his greatness.

Again in September 2010 he remained faithful and saw her little body through a second open heart surgery. She is a spunky little toddler and very smart. Nothing slows her down. God if faithful and God is good. If you doubt that just read her story at

The reality of deployment in just a short time is setting in more and more. I find myself thinking about it more often then I should. Feelings I fought before and even denied are slowing creeping in. We also just completed a three week training and this has confirmed my weaknesses I've been trying to hide. I find myself questioning the strength I once thought I had.

When we first found out about Gary's deployment I was "okay" with it. I mean not being okay wasn't an option because it wouldn't change anything. And I thought to myself, if I can watch my child one breath away from death and her journey to recovery and remain strong I can make it through deployment. But after ONLY 3 weeks of separation I question it all. I mean Gary was the first person there when we almost lost Payton, and he held me for 10 hours during her first surgery, he physically helped me in and out of bed each night because I was recovering from a c-section. That time strengthened our marriage, us as a couple and we remained focused on God and our faith.
One Team One Fight that's the motto right?

But now is my time to regain my focus back on God. While yes my husband was there so was God. He held us both, brought us comfort and brought Payton healing. I need to stay focused on him in order to make it through this journey (which I might add hasn't begun yet).

I pray each day for his strength for myself, Gary, and our two beautiful children. That is the only way we will make it through what is being laid out before us.

God Bless!

Tuesday, March 1, 2011


For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11)

Our family will soon begin a new chapter and a new journey in life. I thought this would be a good way for our family and friends to keep up with all that is going on. This journey will not be easy but we find comfort in God and we will allow him to carry us through.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your way acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths. (Proverbs 3:5-6)